Sektor Gaza - Rasskaz, Uslyshannyy V Avtokombinate (Рассказ, Услышанный В Автокомбинате) dalszöveg fordítás angol nyelvre

A tale heard in the transportation depot

So I was on my way to delivering some gravel
in my old wreck of a
and I drove slowly, chatting with a chick
to which I gave a ride, just for the company.
I talked to her tenderly, like to a princess,
yet she must have weighted about 20 stones1.
Had she been working as a stewardess
the plane would never have lifted off the ground.
 
I said 'Bonjour madame merci l'amour toujours2 or something,
I would be delighted to know your name.'
And she said: 'Pardon me, my name is Nyurka3,
and what about yours? How should I call you?'
I told her I was Grisha4, also unmarried,
a lone traveller since young age,
and I added that I was pretty well-off,
with a plump wallet in my pocket5 for more than 30 years.
 
After a dozen kilometers or so,
I quietly stopped the GAZ-51 and told her
I had busted the [beep]ing shaft and we were up [beep] creek.
Then I quietly drove in neutral toward the forest.
She said: 'You're taking the piss, I bet the shaft is fine.
You just have something on your mind, but that's ok, I'm game'
And of course everyone around here knows I'm an adept [beep]er,
and I thought 'great, now she's all mine'.
 
I climbed onto her, but the cabin is pretty small, you see,
and her navel squeezed me right against the roof.
Out of breath, I said 'My dear Nyurka,
let's get out of here, I can't stand it any longer!'
We went to a forest patch, that was easy to find,
and she immediately forgot all about her, hmm, modesty.
I [beep]ed her blind6 and gave her six [beep]ing helpings!
 
She said: 'Exhausted already, you scoundrel?
Now I'll climb on top of you and squash you on the spot.
Come on, get a move on, why did you stop?
Faster, come on, shake it until I [beep]!'
I can endure quite a lot, but still I'm not her pig,
and I have an (appointment?) at half past five.
And then I said to myself: 'come on, driver Egorov,
give her a good [beep]ing and let her run away home.
I lifted her with difficulty and gave her (hell).
'Get lost, you [beep]' I shouted as she ran.
'Well, you wanted a good [beep],
but how many times is it possible? I went to 7 already.'
I walked back and happily sat in my cool truck
I reversed along the track and was back to the long road in no time,
and I laughed about the whole [beep]ing story as I drove,
thinking to myself those chicks were nothing but [beep].
 
Now listen further:
 
After delivering the gravel, I immediately went to the pub,
to get myself a good beer after a long ride.
But when I put my hand in my pocket, I immediately realized
my plump wallet was gone!
 
I am the GAZ driver!
 
- Come on Petrovich7, finish your story. Pour him another drink!
 
I am the GAZ driver!
 
- Petrovich is pissed! Pour him another!
- Another glass for Petrovich!
- Bring 'em up!
 
Now I will give an advice to all at the end of my story:
In order not to loose your wallet ever,
don't fool around with chicks nor stray into the forest,
and your wallet shall always stay with you!
 

• 1. 7 puds, which puts the girl's weight around 115 kg or 18 stones (rounded up for luck, making the poor girl about 10% heavier)
• 2. 'Hello miss thanks love always' in (broken) French
• 3. A diminutive of 'Anna'
• 4. A diminutive of 'Grigory'
• 5. 'my pocket had not been empty'
• 6. '(so hard) that my eyes went blurry'
• 7. His father's name, I guess. The full name must be Grigory Petrovich Egorov

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