2020.09.06.
Living to the Fullest
No matter how much is taken from me,
I feel that I've lived my life to the fullest.
I'm fine, so why don't we just put this to an end?
I was an amateur in every sense of the word.
Only when it came to my emotions was I a pro.
I did nothing but dream of sprawling out in the middle of an intersection.
A dark figure always says to me, 'I can't feel sad except with someone I love', causing me to wake.
I wanted to continue being that loved one.
But I have no regrets about it.
No matter how much is taken from me,
I feel that I've lived my life to the fullest.
I'm fine, so why don't we just put this to an end?
I heard a voice say, 'ah, as I expected',
but my life really wasn't all that special.
Smile.
I became a vessel for saccharine chocolate emotions,
inhaling them in my own way.
Ah, they tasted awful.
I shouldn't have eaten them.
My life was full of that sort of thing.
But I don't hate it.
Show me the light.
Show me emptiness.
If I scratch at something overflowing,
I wonder if I'll be able to change, too.
Pride always gets in my way.
Hey, show me more!
No matter how much is taken from me,
I feel that I've lived my life to the fullest.
I'm fine, so why don't we just put this to an end?
I heard a voice say, 'ah, as I expected',
but my life really wasn't all that special.
When I told you to hurt me, I meant it.
I don't need all the answers.
Just shut up and make me feel the pain.
Please.
I beg of you.
No matter how much is taken from me,
I feel that I've lived my life to the fullest.
I'm fine, so why don't we just put this to an end?
I heard a voice say, 'ah, as I expected',
but I swear my life really wasn't all that special.
I sang, and sang, and sang, and sang, and sang.
2020.08.27.
Heart Signal
First street at Tokyo Station
I'm standing here in frustration.
Once I've gotten used to the people going by,
when you show up I see you and get that high.
I hate it.
Ah--I see...
No matter how many times you push me away and make me cry,
you know that I can't get enough of you, don't you?
If that's true, then before you get farther away, just break up with me this time.
Just do it already.
Before the tears could fall, I closed my eyes, turned away from you and ran.
I was thinking you'd come chasing after me.
I curse at myself, thinking I would feel so much better now if I could've just accepted the kind of love that gets washed away in the rain.
I hate it.
If I could be objective about this, it's actually kind of a funny love.
A wrangled and swollen heart.
I've gotten so used to Tokyo and it's shady history, it's so smug.
I hate it.
Ah--I see...
No matter how many times you push me away and make me cry,
you know that I can't get enough of you, don't you?
If that's true, then before you get farther away, just break up with me this time.
Just do it already.
Before the tears could fall I closed my eyes, turned away from you and ran.
I was thinking you'd come chasing after me.
I curse at myself, thinking I would feel so much better now if I could've just accepted the kind of love that gets washed away in the rain.
The bells won't ring at my signal.
The silver table of contents only lifted my line of sight.
Trying as much as I can to keep myself from getting hurt.
Trying as much as I can not to fall in love.
Cry.
Shed those tears for me.
I wanted to see your face like this.
I was always the one crying before.
Even so, I think of you over and over again and they flow.
With the drops, I won't tell you to love me or anything.
When I tried to tell you to see how much I was in love, I couldn't do it.
My voice was blocked by the tears.
At that time, you looked unbearably precious to me.