A keresés eredménye

Emptiness (04)

It's just...
-look-
I wanted to show you a lot
about life, people, politics, books
and other things like that,
like it usually happens in the movies that taught you love
For us to live an exciting life,
to have wild sex,
and laugh with other noj exciting people,
saying jokes that only the two of us can understand
For me to tease you but you not be upset,
and shooting it down saying something like:
'Quit the crap babe
I know you better than the palm of my hand.'
For us to be staying in bed at noons,
you sleeping on my chest,
and me reading whatever
Drinking coffe and playing backgammon in some balcony
that overlooks other balconies
where old people are patiently waiting for their time to come,
a random noon of a random summer,
when heat melts the clocks,
and hours pass by unseen
But fuck
The timing was bad
I had my own issues
And your post-teen phase wasn't helpful at all
And I guess in the end we're not as interesting as we thought
And maybe we should just accept that
Maybe all relationships are like that,
some more and some less
Maybe everything runs its circle
And -yes I know- I have to accept
reality as it is
and move onnhassd on that
 
But here's the thing...
it's this weird
relationship of mine with endings
that I could never manage
You want to 'keep talking' in spite of that eventually
Well we'll see
PS. The place where we greeted each other the first time
happened to be the exact same as the place we said goodbye the last
A pedestrian street outside of a metro station
Here's how even us -the unspecial ones- lived something reminiscent of a movie!
 

Kalóz zászló alatt

Felhorgonyoz, vitorlát felhúz
Zsákmányért hajózunk vízi utakon
Egy kalóz se marad felszínen akit látunk
Lőjük őket ágyúval, amíg hajójuk el nem süllyed
 
Lebeg a zászlónk, félelemre tanítjuk őket
Elfogjuk őket, közel a vég
Tüzes fegyverek lövik őket
Feladod vagy harcolsz, nincs visszaút
A kalóz zászló alatt
 
Tiszteletreméltó gazemberek, nincs vér a kezünkön
Harcunk kemény, de csakis a védelmet szolgálja
Óvatosan vitorlázunk a zátonyok körül
Hogy térdre kényszerítsük azokat a szilárdhitűeket
 
Lebeg a zászlónk, félelemre tanítjuk őket
Elfogjuk őket, közel a vég
Tüzes fegyverek lövik őket
Feladod vagy harcolsz, nincs visszaút
A kalóz zászló alatt
 
Keresztülmegyünk a hullámokon, hogy kiszabadítsuk a foglyokat
Beszállunk a hajókba, ismerünk minden taktikát
Mi vagyunk a veszély, a tenger átka
Elverjük a hadihajókat, hogy fizessenek vagy meneküljenek
 
Lebeg a zászlónk, félelemre tanítjuk őket
Elfogjuk őket, közel a vég
Tüzes fegyverek lövik őket
Feladod vagy harcolsz, nincs visszaút
A kalóz zászló alatt
 

01 (Empty)

[Lina]
'Deactivate the chat'
And it's not that I'm bored of the same things
It's that I'm bored of the same people
I fall in love in order to escape from my loneliness
but only the thought that I will fall in love again
it reminds me that I am alone.
Poetry doesn't look for solutions
It was looking all along, finding them and maintaining dead-ends.
Not even one big poet had suicidal tendencies
The most self-destructive poets
got married, got fat,
raised children, created a social cycle,
gossiped, settled down
and died from senility.
I am afraid to die
But I am more afraid to live the way you'd like me to live
I was going somewhere with this...
I wonder if my poems
seem so beautiful to the uninitiated as it seems to me any beautiful drawing
When besides aesthetic
the specific interferes
things become complicated somehow.
That's why I think the painters
'poets without balls'.
I saw you in my sleep the other night
and yesterday I heard a song that reminded me of you.
I thought to send it to you
but then I regretted it...
To not drop my self-pride
but to not 'devalue' the song.
Here
That's where I was going
Where else?
 
[Pinoccio]
I am the most insecure whore, my loves!
Make me love one by one or all together
It doesn't matter. As long as I am the only object of lust in this room
It's cold in here!
Hug me, Goddamnit!
Today I am very clean
Look how beautiful my clothes are
I write, both poems and music
How can someone not love me?
I'm a nice guy
Aren't I?
It doesn't matter if I'm not the best, I don't care
Just tell me that I have something unique
I can't stand any more competition
I just asked for a little acceptance. And that's all
I'm also interested in politics too, and I'm worried
up to where I can
I'm empty really
But I don't say it
If you understand that we might really look alike you may leave me
I'm hardcore romantic because hope is charming
and the only forfeit in order to love me
I hope I didn't tire you
Are you still there?
I love you. You?
 
[Anima]
I also have today a comb in my stomach
My hands are shaking, my eyes hurt
I was here all night and I am afraid
I guzzled in order to forget my mistakes.
You were here too, but you didn't even drink a sip of your drink
You were only laughing, and constantly saying that you didn't expect
to see a gimpy guy doing eights ever, never, but here I am!
And I admired you, and I admire you
You stand here in front of me able-bodied and I look at you
The idol, that I see in the mirror even though it's blur
I love it, (i hate you), I love it, (i hate you)
I am naive when I think that I must leave the frame, even though I doubt
if it benefits me to stay the corks
when anywhere around me there are so many phalli as role models
And in the end, I surrender to the picture
Make me handsome in order for the doll to want me
Now for the audiance, we play hopscotch!
And I will fall in love with it, as long as it loves me a little back...