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2021.03.30.

Pick an old guy!

Pick an old guy!
Pick an old guy!
Original lecture. Text and melody by Otto Reutter
Teich / Danner No. 350
(The performer's appearance is an older, but still very sprightly and brisk gentleman.)
 
1.
The statistics show the connoisseur
there are more women than men.
That's why I advise all women
To know their options in good time.
But please be satisfied,
Not everyone get get the most handsome.
Don't be so picky,
just looking for the young and crisp ones.
Pick an old guy, pick an old guy!
Such an old, well-established,
a public servant with a pension -
such a person is in demand.
Pick an old guy, pick an old guy!
Once freshened up a bit
He will often be better than a young man
And always better than nothing!
 
2.
Ain't the old man no Adonis,
At least he is a man-person.
Even if he had never been attractive,
(alternatively/in the video: Even if his attractiveness has been lost)
The more one looks at her!
Maybe he has a bald head -
one gets it, one has it -
Maybe he has a double chin,
well, then you grab it twice.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
Maybe he is getting some wrinkles,
Those can only be seen on the head -
Elsewhere they might be attractive.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
Is it already fat and wide,
A young man will have to be fed first
but with this one you're already there.
(With a corresponding gesture indicating wide girth)
(attached video is shellac recording - scroll down)
3.
A young man kisses hot and powerful,
but an old man kisses thoughtfully.
What he lacks in passion,
he rmakes up for - with talent.
And how nice, when giving a kiss,
she doesn't need to think about any consequences,
because as he becomes an old one,
She doesn't get young ones.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
Who knows how to do good housekeeping.
A young man kisses carelessly
Often and quickly - so be careful!
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He is less enthusiastic
Do not kiss often, but kisses longer -
so it comes down to the same thing.
 
4.
A young man is hard to beat
when you swing your slipper.
An old man will give in
And look (to her) up humbly.
A young man buys clothes for himself,
an old man buys you a dress from the tailor.
When you put it on, he will be very happy,
Even more when you take it off.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He lets you switch and rule.
He will be happy with just a kiss
then be amazed what he's got.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
When a youngster comes along,
The old guy will let him enjoy the roast
and is himself content with dessert.
 
5.
If you have a young man,
other women will gawk at him.
They never look at an old man
He will be entirely yours.
A young man is more changeable -
But an old man is secure,
He only kisses in his own room
It's plenty for one.
Take your old man, take your old man!
He'll be happy if you keep him
He'll be faithful forever,
almost too faithful - with time!
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He kisses with love's pain
Because with every kiss he thinks:
'It might be the last time!'
 
6.
So if you can't have a young one,
pick an old boy.
There are various ones here today -
And well - - - how about me?
I see younger people here too -
(Summing up :) What they can do, I can still do today,
loved in different places.
Write me, I'll come right away.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
I'm still in very good condition -
Gray hair - easy on the eyes -
Silver is fashionable now.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
Girl, if you bury him,
you will inherit everything, everytime - -
But only - but only - but only if you live to see it.
 
(It increases the effect if a young, pretty woman (or several) rushes onto the stage and if the old man dances off with her, or with them, to the melody of the refrain.)
 
+++++ +++++++++
alternative text of the shellac recording
 
A young man is difficult to conquer
If you swing your slipper
An old man gives you his wallet
Makes the beds, brews coffee.
A young man's kisses may be hot and powerful
But an old man kisses thoughftully
What he lacks in passion
He makes up for with talent.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He'll always be easy to get along with
He'll be faithful to eternity,
becomes even more faithful with time.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He'll be less outgoing,
He doesn't kiss as often, but it takes longer
So it comes down to the same.
 
So if you can't have a young man
Pick an old guy.
There are plenty there and here
And how about me?
I recommend myself here strongly
I still have very nice bits leftover
Greetings to all of you, near and far,
write me, I'll be happy to come.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He'll be happy if you him.
Young men often kiss carelessly
Hot and fast, so be watch out.
Pick an old guy, Pick an old guy!
He kisses with love's pain
Because with every kiss he thinks:
'Oops, this might be the last time!'