2018.10.01.
Christmas, It's Cool
Versions: #2And it came to pass in those days of November
that the first magazine stated off the festivities
It’s Christmas, it’s cool, it’s the nicest time of year
it’s Christmas Ball in Nisseland,1 a family celebration
With a twinkle in the eye people put their winter clothes on
for the yearly migration up and down Strøget2
shopping, present wrapping, things get bought and sold
melting snow, running nose, it’s freaking cold
it’s winter, a bit of cold and snow is to be expected
but of course DSB3 couldn’t have expected that
no nonsense, they’ve sworn, they are completely sure
but at the first sign of frost the mill stops working
people fidget, shout, and look at their watches
and kick after invalid, pathetic pigeons
there’s nothing to do and the angry bus drivers
makes it hard to keep up the Christmas Spirit
“Move towards the fucking back,” the bastard shouts hoarsely
but it’s Christmas, it’s cool, it’s the nicest time of year
It’s Christmas, it’s cool, pine and barrel organs
there are men selling christmas trees in all open squares
12 movable elves and a black mechanical cat
In a window facing Strøget uses several thousand watt
colorful presents in colorful Christmas bags
even in Bilka4 and in Irma and in all Brugser in the country
you can find true Christmas spirit and free ginger biscuits
there are shelves full of festivity, there is festivity in stock
and from the ladies in Illum5 you can get it any way you like
“In cash or on credit, sir? Do you want the price tag hidden?”
they smile and are nice, mostly to the ladies in minks
and give good advice on everything from sexy underwear to cosmetics
and the rest of us paupers, we can go to Dalle-Valle6
the ladies there are nice enough to smile to everyone
there is lots of clothes in boxes, that fits without a doubt
it’s Christmas, it’s cool, pine and barrel organs
It’s Christmas, it’s cool, look around you
15,000 people in Magasin7
they have wet leather shoes, they have scarves
they have coats, presents, lots to do
but they’re having a nice time, of course they are
plastic stars, plastic pine, plastic snow
puts spirits into systems, it’s so easy-peasy, not an issue
just buy a Christmas set of lotions from the Christmas bazaar
or sugar jars, dolls, fine, modern and quite beautiful
cute sets of corkscrews, glasses and bottle openers
from a hidden speaker
“A child is born in Bethlehem”8 in Hammondorgel-verson
we are a tradition-bound people, in the the country of traditions,
so we have as good a time as we can
and especially indispensable, that’s Magasin
it’s Christmas it’s cool, look around you
'High from the tree's green top...'9
'Meet Santa Claus at 1 o'clock, 3 o'clock and 5 o'clock in the Christmas salon on the third floor'
'Our well-stocked wine section is offering a complete mulled wine-set for only 39.95'
'Little 5-year old Øjvind has lost his mom, he can be picked up in customer service'
“Oh dear me, is it already…”
Christmas, it’s cool, time passes so fast, nothing has changed since last year
it's the same things we’re eating, it’s the same things we’re doing
the same things on TV, the same Christmas present
same money trouble, it’s difficult and expensive
solely overstretched credit cards
abundance and gluttony with family and friends
the consciences is solved with a small donation10
it’s the time of Christmas parties11 traditional fun, drunk driving, adultery and food waste
we’ve been there before, we know exactly what’ll happen
dieting in January, all of that
it’s laborious but next year is far away
it’s Christmas, it’s cool, time passes so fast
'I dream about a white beach
with palms and summerly weather
I'll celebrate Christmas
in the swimming pool
long away from snow and Christmas trees.'
- 1. This is a reference to a popular family movie, which includes a sequence where the child main character dreams that he's at a ball with nisser (christmas elves, in this context).
- 2. The main shopping street in Copenhagen
- 3. Danish State Railways
- 4. Bilka, Irma and Brugsen are all Danish Supermarket chains
- 5. Illum is a fancy department store in central Copenhagen
- 6. A less fancy department store, properly called Daells Varehus
- 7. Another department store, midway between Illum and Dalle-Valle in fanciness
- 8. The Danish version of Puer natus in Bethlehem
- 9. Popular Danish Christmas song from 1848
- 10. Many kids get so called 'Christmas calendars' which are cardboards with small doors of which you open one for each day of December up until the 24th. An 'Ulandskalender' is a Christmas calendar where the proceeds go to charity for developing countries ('Udviklings' or just 'U' countries).
- 11. This likely refers specifically to co-worker Christmas parties, which are known for overdrinking and infidelity