2017.10.03.
Fairy Tales of Our Time
Hello, my friend, do you like fairy tales?See, the moon is traveling in the sky?
If you suddenly tear yourself away from the beer,
I, so be it, I'll tell you something.
The egg was taken down by the doodle girl Pestrushka.
The grandad and the granny were beaten - they didn't break, well, they were cripples!
A mouse, by profession, burrow digger,
Waved the tail, and the egg - salyam aleikum!
Here the grandad and the granny are crying, but in vain -
Everything is destined, the egg must be broken.
Evil breeds evil in our age is terrible.
Do you wanna know how this fairy tale will end?
The granny will be slaughtered by Raskolnikov,
And not with evil and so on the plot it's necessary.
The grandad, exacerbated by drunkenness,
Will shoot Archduke Ferdinand.
What are you grimacing, don't like the tale?
What, not dashing enough?
Yes, it's not easy to please you, honey,
You would read comic book, a capricious scarecrow!
I'm all about transcendental here for him,
About fatalism, about life, about mysticism.
No, damn, he wants more abruptly, twisted,
Cool and ok, in kicks style.
Do you want more abruptly? Well, okay - you will!
Here was the peasant's three sons,
All three are fools, which is typical.
Athos, Porthos and the younger - Pinocchio,
The princess was met, and everything ended badly!
They put her, just in case,
A pea traight under the mattress. Of trotyl.
And from the palace there was only a key,
Which was finded by insane Tortilla.
The prince caught her and tormented for a long time.
He shouted: 'Why do you need such ears, granny?'
Then he killed he, cooked and ate, and her the key
He changed for a centner of poppy at Duramar.
The Tsarevich lived with a frog, as with his wife,
Decompensated pervert,
He sailed on a blue geld, paranoid,
He loved other frogs, a polygamist.
But the blue gelding turned into Sivka-Burka
And he prayed in a human voice:
'Do not eat me, dummy, I'm sick of a plague!'
And then he hanged himself on the birch.
Here is a thriller, straight to tears, such passions!
I liked something myself!
Since our life is more abrupt than the blockbuster,
Fairy tales needs to be hursher than Goethe's Faust!
We will engage in myth-making a la Alfred Hitchcock!
Which one children wants, but the ho is not for them.
Dance, Thumbelina, hip-hop, and eveything will be ok!
Who is against, who? Granddad Pihto and Agnia Barto!
Buzzed Godzilla walks in the city,
Three cats crushed and seven goatlings,
And poor Stepashki, and Piglets-Cheburashki
Looks this fairy tale with fear.
I look with longing, my friend, on your generation:
Everybody is waiting for a metaphysical freebie.
Sesame will open by the pike's will...
A koksy-bite! Oh, the times! Oh, customs!
King Kong came, the Little Mermaid was killed.
The heroes of fairy tales changed their roles:
Old man Khottabych is the leader of the Wahhabis,
Dobrynya carries vodka on KAMAZ.
I'm afraid all will end unintelligently,
As in that fable, about the bird and the fox:
The crow was fucked away by God, fucked away specifically,
Straight along with cheese, and with a fox, and with a fabulist.
Flow honey-beer on the mustache, but don't hurry in the mouth,
Think up the tale yourself, I'm already nauseous.
For example, as a dude took a cat in boots,
And immediately he live great, all in the women and dibs.
At the forest, on the edge of the forest, a granny's egg was taken down,
And we bought it and ate it, finally,
Now we are sick of salmonellosis all collective farm,
Here is the fairytale end, who was eating - not a tenant.
Oh, Daddy's crying! There is a fairy tale for the dad:
'The Duma lived with the President.
And they lived in joy and affection,
And they died instantaneously... '
Tibor from QS-FB