2021.02.27.
HORORSCOPE
I'm coming from Mars.Aries!
You smell like something dead again today,
you give out a sweet smell of aged death,
but at least you know what the scent is from.
Your charm and sense of humor died.
Taurus!
You are about to have intercourse with an abbot.
Because you are devout? - No!
Because you are stupid!
The stars have turned their backs on you even though you are young,
but calm down, suicide is always an option.
Gemini!
The search for inner peace
will take you to a dam lake with a brick tied around your neck
show courage and go a little deeper,
drowning lasts 5 minutes at most.
Mmm Cancer!
Nothing good awaits you today
and you arouse no interest in anyone.
The fact that you are boring is scientifically confirmed,
don't bother your brain, it's not much anyway.
Leo!
Behind the mask of the cruel tyrant
hides a talentless squirrel in heat.
You need some time so it becomes clear to you,
that Leo is only your zodiac sign and you - an alcoholic!
Vi-vi Virgo!
You haven't had sex in only two days,
and now you would even put a grater in you.
Don't wonder why they're chasing you out of the zoo,
everyone knows what looks you throw at the horse!
Chorus:
This is your horoscope, your horoscope,
I'm your beloved astrologist.
The stars share with me,
I am at your service from Monday to Sunday. x2
Libra!
The long midnight reflections
brought you kidney stones and anemia.
You have been living in the delusion that thinking happens with the spinal cord,
I can't even....
Scorpio!
Your complexes are already a syndrome,
there's no point in rubbing your ass with 'Danone'.
Although, according to the Internet it makes you pretty
we hide from you behind the most proven, strong lock.
Sagittarius!
Spring has blossomed, but you didn't,
your libido will take you to a terrible place.
You are attracted to everything that breathes and eats,
as if there is a magnetic field around it's ass!
Capricorn!
May God protect us from your postures,
from fear of safety you bought a taser,
but calm down, with that face that came out of hell
no one has any desire to attack you.
Aquarius!
The intellect is not in your nature,
in your absence the people sing of joy.
Dressed as a woman with a naked penis on 'Tulovo' train station,
it's not that 'art', it's rather a little silly.
Pisces!
Your existence in this world
proves that if there is a God, he is blind.
You are the product of a misunderstood stupid joke
and there is no going back.
Chorus:
This is your horoscope, your horoscope,
I'm your beloved astrologist.
The stars share with me,
I am at your service from Monday to Sunday. x2
Enough... straight from... Ursa Minor.
We're comiiiiing, with the spaceship, bro.
It's on petrol, hey!