A keresés eredménye

Son of P.

My name is Igor and I'm seven
My dad says I'm worth a thousand diamonds
The school I go to, you're gonna laugh or not
Is named exactly like me
 
I have my best friend the director
With him I have fun for hours
Playing war, playing dodgeball
I have the balls and he's the one dodging
 
The only one the teacher respects
Is not the director, no no no no it's me
In the canteen, when there's spinach
For me, it's vodka and caviar
 
I always get full marks, I'm first everywhere
It may be talent but it's mostly
Because one evening, on the Volga
Mom met Dad
 
And that my dad is Vladimir Poutine
And if you say I suck he cuts off your supplies
My dad is Vladimir Poutine
It's not a fucking joke, you'll write to me from the gulag
 
My name is Igor and I'm fifteen
I stopped going to school a long time ago
I spend most of my days
Smoking in Red Square
 
The weed I smoke is named Igor
My rap group is named Igor
I have millions of followers on Twitter
It's my dad who gifted them to me
 
With my friends, all sons of ex-KGB agents
We skate naked under LSD
In the halls of the Duma and the Kremlin
I know no one will say anything
 
I'm gonna tell you something, you're not gonna believe it
I have no braces, no blackheads
My skin is perfect, not one pimple
Yes, but I have a little secret
 
It's that my dad is Vladimir Poutine
If you like the Pussy Riot, you will never be friends
My dad is Vladimir Poutine
It's not a fucking joke, you'll write to me from the gulag
 
My name is Igor and I'm thirty
My life now isn't like my life before
I had everything to succeed
But my hopes were shut down
 
At the same time as this submarine
That I had constructed by my own hands
At the inauguration I even constructed
Twelve pre-school and seven first grade classes
 
And my dad is Vladimir Poutine
Since I was making him sad, he invaded Ukraine
But my dad is Vladimir Poutine
It's not a fucking joke, I'm writing to you from the gulag
 

The dictators

If I was to start a football team with dictators
I would select Mussolini as centre-forward, but not Hitler in goal,
No, because he's too short
Pinochet would be left wing, and Mao would be left wing, cause he's on the left
And Pol Pot, he would be a trainer: 'Oh, it's ok, it went back in on its own, it's ok'
Stalin red card, Mao, yellow card, to the stake, execution!
Woh lalalalalala nice head, Ceaucescu
Where are the supporters? Where are the opponents? Where are the referees?
They were put in cages.
 
If you play football with dictators, don't forget to warm up, to hydrate, yeah
Otherwise your skin will get scorched
And summer is coming soon
Ouapapadam ouapapadam parapapapapapadam
Ouapapadam ouapapadam
 
If I was to start a reggae band with dictators
Kadhafi would be on guitar 'cause he had long hair once
Saddam Hussein would be selected 'cause he is a baassist
And Khomeiny with his rasta cap would be on keyboards
And Pol Pot would be on barrel organ, wow you are too good at bar.. at organ
Now, now a solo by Pol Pot, hey, everybody listens, it's the technical part, shtt!
If you don't clap, he'll send you to jail, and if you clap, he'll send you to jail
Where is the public? Where are the technicians? Where are the musicians? Oh, they are in the pit.
 
If you play reggae with dictators, don't forget to bring your papers, yeah
Oh, no, no, not to roll (a joint)
It's just to present your identification
Ouapapadam ouapapadam parapapapapapadam
Ouapapadam ouapapadam
 
If we were to open a summer camp with dictators
People would not pay their cocktails with necklace pearls, they would pay with er... with their fingers
Come on Django, call for a round of drinks: 'Well no, you are too many'
The club song is in German, and you better know the steps, 'cause the coach just came back from Rwanda
Where are the coaches? And where are the G.O.s? And the girls in swimsuits? They are in the showers.
 
If you go to a summer camp with dictators
Don't forget to bring your swimsuit, many activities occur in water
Or rather, underwater
Bloob bloob bloobbloob bloob bloob bloob bloob bloob...
[Sir, sir, he has eaten water]
 
If we started cooking with dictators: 'No thanks, it's ok, I'm not very hungry...'
If we started an amusement park with dictators: 'Strange, no queue for the Russian mountains (roller coaster)'
If we were in a fashion house with dictators: 'Your Mao style(mandarin) collar seems a bit too tight'
If we were to start a democracy with dictators: Yeah!... No, no
 
There's nothing you can do with dictators
Someone will always get hurt
In the present state of things
They will find it difficult to be retrained...
Though not necessarily, they have excellent opportunities at the job centre for dictators
They need someone for a genocide in Africa
Well, of course you've got to like Africa... Wait, otherwise there's still Eastern Europe, just wait 10-15 years till things settle down. You've got to get ready for a long wait, you've got to get ready...
 

Job security

Versions: #2
They’re funny this year
It’s difficult to guess from the start 1
Which one will be arrested for the scooters he will have stolen
Which one will be incarcerated for dealing too much
 
As a good teacher, I’m prepared
A bit of Maths and French, Kick-boxing and Karate
Too bad for geography, all they know about Italy
Is just vaguely aout spaghetti and Rocco Sifredi 2
 
The program for this year
In French would be nice if they manage to read a whole book
But even Dan Brown and Marc Lévy have more than one hundred words of vocabulary
We'll still be at the preface even after the winter.
 
And my neighbour, upon seeing me, wille be telling me
'Idle bunch , so you are already back from school, you don’t know what it is to work, with your 20 hour weeks, you work much less than a postman, would you believe that I pay for your holidays, and worse, you’re not even tanned!'
Quick, students to mark, 2/3 Prozacs, 8 coffees,
But I hear him anyway, saying from downstairs :
'And I’m not even counting job security'.
 
The one with glasses, he’s my gifted one
He knows how to write his name without mistakes, he knows how to count, wow!
Bah, not bad for a 9th grader, one has to be content with it
It’s clear that such an intellectual is going to be racketed
 
35 pupils, this year,
I asked them what they wanted to do as a career
I’ve 10 Zidanes 3, 15 Amel Bents 4 and 9 Boobas5,
One original who wants to be a security guard and lawyer.
He must have seen on Courbet's show 6
That it was a good idea to be a lawyer if you ever went to prison.
They all thought they would get their brevet by watching ‘Temptation Island’
Thanks for all that TV does for them.
 
And my neighbour, the same that yesterday will tell me:
'Bunch of state workers, so you’re already back from school, you don’t know what working is, with your 20 hour weeks, you work less than a ticket inspactor, and to say I pay for my kid, he repeated his 2nd grade this year'
Quick, school reports to fill out, 2/3 Prozac, and 8 kirs7,
But I hear him anyway, saying from downstairs :
'And I’m not even counting job security'.
 
Ministry Guidelines
Require us to have more regular meetings
We even have them to plan future meetings
Or to decide what we can safely give as a sanction
 
End to the grades, from time to time
I must just send them some encouragement texts
You don't do the assessment, they will tell you if you’re cool.
Nevertheless I prefer they give me grades rather than headbutts
 
Impossible to make them repeat a year
The poor dears, its important not to bother them
The timetable must be simplified, there’s too many lessons, it tires them out
They’ve even proposed giving the bac8away free with the next Playstation
 
And my neighbour, you know him, will tell me
'Bunch of overpaid workers, you do nothing all day, you shouldn’t be tired, with your 20 hour weeks, you work much less than the unemployed, and worse no boss and no productivity, that’s not for what you do'
Quick, parents to meet, 2/3 Prozac, 8 Grand Marnier
 
And given their investment, next year won’t sort itself out
Maybe we should consider adopting them
Wake them up in the morning, put them to bed in the evening
And may be sleeping on their behalf so they stay awake in class
 
The gym teacher hasn’t turned up, she was attacked in the street, but they warned her they didn’t want to have PE before midday, already they can't smoke in class, and that’s already disgusting,
Between each class, a beer and a joint, it’s not a great need...
 
This time it’s decided, my kids will go to private , I just thought twice, I don’t see that much job security.
 

• 1. 'Rentrée' is the beginning of the school year
• 2. Porn actor & director
• 3.
• 4.
• 5.
• 6. French TV show where The presenter helps out viewers confronted with major consumer problems or with neighbours
• 7.
• 8. Equivalent to A Levels